I was just thinking about how humor is so important to me. Sometimes I don’t practice it enough. Sometimes I practice it at the wrong moments. Most of the time I can’t help laughing because so many things are rooted in some (often dark) humor
Why do we get so worked up over certain things, take some things so damn seriously - what is the point? Some things are just so fucking weird and so funny all wrapped up in one that I think laughing is sort of the only answer
Yesterday evening as I was making dinner before I was to go out again and I felt this horribly terrible feeling of “oh god I am so alone.” I wanted to actually moan that aloud in a melodramatic, arms thrashing, shrugging shoulders sort of declaration. I honestly don’t feel that way often at all, but when I do it’s like this vase crashing to the floor type of startled reaction. Later on I was telling my friend this as we stood at the bar outside sipping on our second patron on ice (yeah that was our ‘pick me up’ I guess) and I just started laughing so hard. And my friend cracked a joke and it was like whatever fuck everything
Then we went to a bar, and met up with other friends. It’s kind of weird how words really can like seduce people - and I think without being too brash - I do think this is like my way of doing it I guess. I don’t even realize I’m really doing much, sometimes things just come out and I guess I’m just a very flirty person. I don’t know. Ha.. but I couldn’t help but laugh (to myself) while chatting with this fellow and then he explaining to me the effect of what I said to him. Ha! God.
Sex can be weird, and passionate and hot and sweaty, lustful and hopefully pleasurable (god let us hope). But, it can also be messy, and awkward and hilarious. It can get go in and out (pun intended) of fluid to clumsy as fast as the hearts beating in those involved. It shouldn’t be used to harm another person, and we should take precaution and safety measures when applicable, but I also think it needs to not always be taken so damn seriously. Stop putting the weight of the world in it, because heaven forbid, it crushes me (no, literally stop crushing me) and lighten up. Be dumb and needy, animalistic, experimental and then laugh when there is a blooper or two and then move on because, look I still want to be fucked
I felt weird about a friend this weekend - and the feeling of how hollow some words can be. Or maybe, how fleeting feelings can be. Feelings are so fleeting, god damn, it’s almost gross sometimes. So fickle. I just don’t really get saying one thing with so much meaning and emotion, and totally not lining up to it with actions. Don’t say it. Don’t even pretend, because that’s stupid. I don’t know.
Oh I don’t know. Let’s all just laugh it off already